p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
p
|
The second song on the Vanilla album would introduce the blazing sexual frenzy of Johnny Holocaust to an unsuspecting world:"Jass Me". Amidst the gooey coitus of this slinky but abrasive pop rock number, Holocaust takes a moment to acknowledge his presumedly deceased Vanilla predescesors in the line, "Now you've heard my story/Life is now Compompe". A quote from an article published in a March 94 issue of Flipside revealed a rare, contemplative Johnny Holocaust: "I guess, you know, those other guys that were in Vanilla before we were, um, I never met those guys. I think they're dead. Um. I never heard any of their songs either. Uh, what's the question?"
Jesus Maria stepped up to the lead vocal bat on the third number "New Paved Road". His decadent snarl only heightens such sinister couplets as "relax baby 'cuz it's only a gas/when Doctor Mabuse puts his foot in your...". One can only shudder in fright when pondering where his oriental alter-ego was going to plant his platformed footware. Holocaust rips off the first cocaine-addled lead on the album at the conclusion of this song. Apparently, Holocaust insisted that he not hear the tracks that he overdubbed his solos onto and wore mittens to "prove" his guitar expertise to the recording engineer.
Cho-Yun Li's paeon to Medival Feudalism, "(A) Boon of Land" follows. Li's protagonist is a wealthy robber baron that attempts to seduce land from an obviously inferior genetic specimen/medival hunchback-type serf. The languid drawl of this flatulent number was the first evidence of Cho-Yun Li's already slipping songwriting abilities.
The next cut, "21st Century" is yet another uptempo rocker, this time with a bizarre twist: Cho-Yun and Jesus both sing completely different lyrics and melodies at the same time. There is simply too much going on in this song to enjoy it properly and one certainly wonders what the group was thinking.
Jesus Maria's quasi-biographical tour-de-force "That's Sodomy" ends side one of the record on a quizzical note. The quarrelsome storyline follows a perverse octagenarian's life, from birth until death, burning like a quasar by electric chair. The buttfucking codger quips: "I have sodomized Christians and I've sodomized Moors/I've gotten down with unwilling village sons as angry mobs beat down the door/I've had to EVACUATE a time or two or three or four/I guess I'm just a whore/but that's sodomy." The ersatz quief-of-a-showtune background music of "That's Sodomy" was rumored to have been cut by a trio of pro-queer Jamaican session musicians while the Vanilla rhythm section watched and ate popcorn. The quirkiness of this track is unmatched even by "Weird Al Yankovic" or other like-minded masters of "comedy rock".
Side two of the Vanilla album is heralded by the positive vibrations of yet another uptempo rocker, "Good". Cho-Yun Li's lionine bellowing adds additional warmth to a truly uplifting message of being chaste, masturbating copiously, and waiting for the right mate to come along in order to save copulation as a reproduction ritual to celebrate marriage. I think. I'm not really sure. There's another one of those wacky guitar solos on this one.
The brutal proto-"death metal" intensity of "I Just Can't Help Myself" nearly erases every trace of goodwill that the band set out to offer the listener. Johnny Holocaust's overwrought and patently obscene vocals will certainly frighten any small children that hear this Cho-Yun Li penned assault.
In 1984, "Larry" Pomeroy's young nephew Eugene offered the band one of his own clever compositions, entitled "The Busdriver's Theme". It appears here with duel vocals by Li and Maria. The Vanilla boys have a fun time matching wits against each other with friendly, agape innuendos directed towards the little folks they drive home from grade school everyday. At one point, a young female "busdrivee" gets a saucy attitude towards the "busdriver", but nevertheless their personality conflict finds a compromise with the introduction of the girl's concerned father.
The penultimate epic "Strawberry Rules O.K." fills the listener in on a bit of Vanilla's personal background while really rocking her with a solid beat and a great melody.
The conclusion of the Vanilla album is a version of "The Fudge" recorded at the "new" band's first demo session. The dark atmosphere of this baroque composition brings things to an unsettling close."
next
|