pipeline5.interview:TLASILA2
To Live and Shave in L.A. 2 was formed after the group's members left the original To Live and Shave in L.A. due to what would probably be referred to as "creative differences" in an official industry press release. Weasel Walter, Rat Bastard, Misty Martinez and Nandor Nevai then went on to release a stunning debut album and go on a US tour, stirring up confusion, anger, and bewilderment the whole way. Their first cd, Kill Misty/Threnody: $300 Silk Shirt, was self-released on cdr, and will be properly fed to the masses (with 40 minutes of new carnage) by Belgium's X+Z=0 records in July, 2001. The following interview was conducted in the informally christened "Michael Gira Lounge" of the Millvale Industrial Theater in Pittsburgh, PA after a blindingly short but explosive set of free glam catharsis which left the audience a full six feet away from the stage, fearing for our safety and eardrums. The interview was no less chaotic that the music, and perhaps this three ring circus is better labelled a "conversation," as, between Nondor's "influenced" ramblings, Weasel's attempts to steer the interview back toward the music, and my little recorder's futile attempts to capture four people talking at once, most semblances of a conventional interview fell by the wayside fairly early on. Like any good drama, whether tragedy or comedy, we'll begin first with the cast of characters, color-coded for easy identification, and in order of appearance:

Weasel Walter: 12-string guitar, sax
Adam Strohm: pipeline
Rat Bastard: bass
Misty Martinez: personal effects
Nandor Nevai: drums
Milton G. Compton III: pipeline
Brad Heiple: pipeline
Random, all too often indiscernible members of openers The Weather Channel
Manny Theiner: Owner, MIT

(Any censoring is by request of the band)

WW: So, Adam, why did you make the mistake of interviewing this band? What interested you?
AS: You asked me.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm a sucker.
Okay, do you got any questions for us?
Well, let's see, where do we start off?
Did you listen to the record?
Yeah
What do you think?
I very much enjoyed it. It was very nice.
Cool. Alright. What? Who's doing the fucking interview?
RB: Which record lp?
Kill Misty
Oh, that record...
The debut recording...
MM: Yeah, Rat didn't even know
NN: (interrupting) I don't even know who to trust anymore, Jesus or the devil... Jesus or the Devil...
Yeah, we played the record in the car, for Rat, he had never heard it before, and he was like, he didn't even know where it was from. He thought it was, like, recorded live on our last tour...
(In a British accent) I don't even know who to trust anymore, Rat or Misty, Rat or Misty...
It's very nice.
Thank you.
I enjoyed it a lot. I made the mistake of leaving it on my desk and my mom walked by and...
MM: Oh, did she think that you worship pain?
No, she just said "What is this? Who are these people?" and I just said "Uhh..." and she said "Don't explain it." I said "I won't."
NN: She's a fucking cock.
(To Nondor) We should give you a separate microphone... We should give you a second microphone in the left speaker spewing nonsense.
You can't explain it, even if you wanted to explain it. It's so [unintelligible... Wonderful, maybe?] Godammit.
All right, well, that was kind of a question... Weasel's a cunt.
So, let's see, where do we start?
Yeah.
Why don't we start when you were born out of your mother's ass?
Was that a good show?
I don't know, we didn't watch it. Was it a good show?
Was it a good show?
(Referring to Nondor)Born between the piss and shit, that's what he says.
What do you think, was that a good show?
I enjoyed it, I want to know what you think.
We don't want to know if you enjoyed it. Did you enjoy it?
Was it a good show? I thought it was...
(interrupting) If you want to ask me if it was a good show, then I want to assault you.
We'll have to take that outside.
We don't have to, there are other options.
(after numerous attempts to being his sentence) It was a representative show.
Yeah. There you go.
Good is not...
I think we're satisfied
I don't think we're interested in judging whether it was good or not because I don't feel like I actually am... (pauses) I don't...
You tell me: do you like my baby picture?
Right?
Never seen it...
Here, here. You're gonna look at his baby picture. (Gets out his wallet)
Then review the fucking mp3...
What, the one of what Nondor looked like when he was 12, that one?
Check the mp3.
Right. This is what Nondor looked like when he was a kid. (Shows picture to us)See that shit?
(chuckling) Yeah, I saw that old high school picture of yours in there, too...
(laughing) Is that for real?
Do you enjoy that picture?
Yeah, it's a nice picture.
It's a great picture.
I was born out of my mother's ass, I fucked her inside-out with my head, it was kind of a thorn shaped thing...nothing much but bone and a hank [sic] of hair. Blue eyes and LSD encrustments... Scabs forming on anything that made contact.
Right. We give the performance we would like to see, ourselves, is what he's saying.
Ebert...Ebert gave a thumbs up, the fucking asshole critic.
Ebert liked it?
But we would be the only ones in the audience if we were to see ourselves. Okay.
Yeah. I don't actually know what happens at our shows, so I can't tell you whether it was good or not.
Yeah...Did you see, I found a little kind of icepick thing?
Icepick?
Yeah,it was pretty gross.
Yeah, where was that?
Misty puts an icepick up her ass, and pulls out a steaming [unintelligible].
I found it on the ground...a rusty icepick.
Man, this place is a dump.
Yeah, we have real [unintelligible]
Yeah. (laughs)
So how are fans of the original incantation [should have been incarnation, obviously... I must have had metal on my mind] of this band feeling about your group? Do they like it?
John McEntee is from Ohio.
What? Wait, what's the question?
People that are fans of the original To Live and Shave, are they enjoying this?
I think they're split. I don't think we know anyone who are fans of the original band...
They're starved, because they live on a diet solely of $#@meat.
I've never talked to anyone who likes the original band To Live and Shave in LA...
That's not true... That's not true.
Who? Name a person who likes To Live and Shave in LA.
Not the music, but they like us...
But we're not To Live and Shave in LA.
No.
Didn't Thurston Moore? Didn't think so.
I'm currently interviewing Carlos from Monotract, and he said he likes them.
He likes To Live and Shave in LA?
Yeah.
I've never talked to him about it.
You lie, he lied. He lied. You always say that [unintelligible], but the truth is, no one does.
I've never seen him [unintelligible]. I don't think he's ever been to a To Live and Shave in LA show.
We're so utterly unrelated to...
(interrupting) Except for fucking Bette Midler. She was... We fucking toured with her. Remember? Fucking Canada, Alberta. Three dates.
We don't have anything to do with To Live and Shave in LA. We did, but that band is defunct. And we're sort of a different band.
Because we're not thieves. We're not criminals from Georgia.
But you kept the name to keep it alive, in a way? To...
We earned the name. We earned it.
Well, we had to steal one thing.
We did what we had to do.
Exactly. We did what we had to do, to take it back. We took it back.
My view is that there was an aesthetic schism , and that's why we're called To Live and Shave in LA 2. He can have a band called To Live and Shave in LA, and he's entitled to it, it's his band.
Anyone can. Anyone can.
But we're not called To Live and Shave in LA, we're called To Live and Shave in LA 2.
Right. Do you want to see some people who were trained it art school playing with a casiotone, or do you want to see some free death metal? I don't know, you tell me.
We're trying to give people more options. On our last tour, we so fucking obliterated every place that we played. That had more to do with these four people than another guy who's not in the band.
I think you mostly obliterated your pants.
(All laugh)
So, I guess, speaking of seeing you live, what do you think...
This is going to be an unusable interview.
No, I'll use it.
Adam's like "I'll tape over this...Uh, I could do a Reynols interview..."
(All laugh)
No, I'll sell this.
Cool
Limited edition on eBay...
Yeah, it's our new release. To Live and Shave in LA 4, live at Millvale.
Along with that Ken Vandermark reed [in reference to a broken Vandermark reed someone once tried to sell on eBay, starting at $10.]
Starring, uh, Greg Chapman.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Rat Bastard is still with us.
Right, yeah.
Rat's in a band called To Live and Shave in LA 3, so...
In fucking four minutes, Rat will be so... (pauses) in such an alcohol stupor that he will put his ankles behind his ears and take a fucking ...
(making a valiant effort, but only getting his ankles as high as his neck) Yeah, I'm not there yet. I'm close, though.
Yeah, To Live and Shave in LA is not to be confused with a band called To Live and Shave in LA.
Or, To Live and Shave 3. (simultaneously)
Yeah.
Especially.
Rat's got a band...
Or, or I Live in LA or I was born in East LA. These exist.
Wow...
But, the Dave Matthews band is very closely related.
Right, exactly.
I can't even tell the difference.
We used to have a black guy playing violin, but we kicked him out. Yeah, we had to sack him.
Actually, we had to kill him and eat his flesh, that's what I was talking about $#@meat.
So do you think...
I'm black, I mean I can talk about $#@meat. I'm a black female.
Obviously.
I'm also a lesbian. Mustache rides are free. But being an amoral black metalist,I will eat your meat, and $#@meat, if available.
(To Nondor) How much is human life worth?
A penny.
That much?
One US penny. In other words, a fluctuation of currency value nearing nothing. But fluctuating.
So do you think listening to your band on cd loses anything? Obviously, the visual aspect is pretty important...
It's like, living in Pittsburgh, you lose sex life.
Hell no, man, that's where you're fuckin' wrong, man. The fucking sound, man...all that, all that...
The cd is completely different.
If you sit and listen to what we play, the sound is way more than the appearance, the action, man... Where the fuck you've been, man?
I was just asking...
The fucking ac-...the sound is way more interesting than the action is.
Well...
How are you going to figure out how we fucking made that sound, man?
Well, this is...
(Gesturing towards Rat ) Jack Kerouac, ladies and gentlemen.
Right on.
Listen to that shit, godammit, man.
It is pretty heavy.
It's psychedelic in a way...
I mean, Weasel runs into his fucking amp and bounces off and hits a drum set, the drum set falls over, and...
It sounds fucking good.
And, I mean, that's good sound. We don't stand there and play with fucking tapes.
No.
Exactly.
See, we've got cds...
You want to twiddle a knob, then suck this fucking negro's dick afterwards, 'cause I'm busy playing grindcore when the shit is up on the stage. [Nondor, at this juncture, pronounces stage more like stay-age]
(To Misty) Come here, I'm gonna spank your butt. C'mon, c'mon bitch. (Pulls Misty on to his lap and spanks away)
No, don't
Yeah.
No.
Sorry.
Write that out there...
(In death metal growl) Only when she pays for it.
Why'd you do that? Now I'm turned on...
Sorry.
The visual aspect...
So, this is Milton (points to Milton), and Brad (points to Brad).
Hey guys, I'm Weasel. (Points) Nondor, Misty.
Milton Bradley?
Yeah, exactly.
Whoa.(Impressed with Misty's astute observation)
Very good, man.
I wanted to get two dogs and name them Martini and Rossi Aussi Spumanti, but I didn't. I'm too irresponsible to have a pet.
That's hard for a rock star.
Apparently not.
I need new boots, I have better priorities than pets.
Yeah, he's got nails driving into his feet.
As long as that pet is two-legged...
I have...
Or at least walks on two legs...
(Showing us his battle-damaged boots) Actually, these shoes are so fucked up, as you can see, the like nails are coming through and actually impaling the heel of my toe, but that's where I get my, like, feelings onstage. We actually...We carry around.. This is kind of a secret, we don't like to brag about it, because we're not pedantic, but we carry around a dead raven in a jar and we inhale it deeply when we go onstage. Just like, reminding ourselves that we're gonna die real soon. It's one of the major motivations of our music...
Musically dying.
Sorry. Yeah.
I'm gonna puke.
Do Brad and Milton have any questions?
Yeah?
You've been stopped by an electric guitar.
What kind of questions could they fucking come up with?
I just kind of thought... I had a thought, like a question...
Yeah?
Oh. A thought, a question.
Sorry, I...
A revelation.
If you want to share a thought, then I can get this big old dick sucked tonight.
Maybe. Umm...
Big, old dick.
I...feel free to make fun of it...
No, it's okay. (Points to Nondor) He will, I won't.
That's cool. Uh, you have , well, you guys don't, but there's To Live and Shave in LA...
Not anymore, it's defunct.
Oh, it's defunct?
They're R.I.P., dude.
Okay, there is one, go ahead.
Alright, theoretically.
Okay, there was To Live and Shave in LA, you guys are To Live and Shave in LA 2, you (points to Rat) have 3...
Right.
The thing I was just thinking is like, could we like start 4, would that be okay?
Well, this is a joke now between certain noise scene intellectuals, they think it's funny that we have To Live and Shave in LA 2, and they're trying to diffuse it by starting their own To Live and Shave bands.
Yeah, to take the piss out of us.
We'll see who lasts.
Yeah.
We'll see who lasts.
I was just curious if there was...
Be my guest, Shave 4, that's you.
It makes me want to beat everyone in this room up right now. I want to smash everybody's face in.
It's not a joke, I'm not making fun of you.
Dude, don't smash my face in...
The only thing is, we want a war, and we will, like, kill you.
Well, I don't like killing people...
No, no...see, it's why bother, though?
Yeah.
That's my question to you, like, why bother?
Well, I wasn't really going to bother.
To Live and Shave is such a despicable group, like...
Smelly.
Have you heard Vedder Vedder Bedwetter?
I haven't heard the original To Live and Shave in LA...
(referring to his previous comment) Ugh.
Let's not even talk about To Live and Shave in LA, they don't exist.
Yeah, sorry. It's terrible, terrible.
Really bad...
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.
Well, you could, but why?
We should know, we were all on it.
(laughs) Yeah. Terrible.
Yeah, but, you see, To Live and Shave in LA 3 is also Harry Pussy 2, (in unison) Sonic Youth 2...
(To Adam) Pearl Jam 2?
Pearl Jam 2! (laughing)
But we're a good band.
Right. They're totally different, they sound completely different.
Yeah.
And we don't suck. We don't suck terrible shit at all.
Right, we don't suck.
We had a project under the working name of Pearl Jam 2, but it never worked out...
Sounds familiar: all dreams, no resolve.
I want to call my solo project Michael Jackson.
(laughing) Michael Jackson...
You should've called it Pearl Jam Up My Ass, is more like it.
Right. Everyone keep making jokes, 'cause the joke is on mother-fucking you, all of you.
So this is what, the second night of the tour?
Yeah.
Nah, we've been out for two months, man.
Two years.
(laughing) Two years...
Yeah.
So how was, uh, how was the show last night? You do okay?
We did it.
I think we did it, yeah...
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know, am I the toilet, am I the shit?
I woke up this morning and saw a cat with a mouse in its mouth... I think we played pretty good last night.
Yeah. I always try to play as well as I can, considering that all of my equipment is broken.
Yeah, I noticed... I don't know what guitar you were were playing, but mine has the same crappy pick-ups...
A lot of the time, the arrangements in our music are predicated by the equipment breaking down. It has a lot to do with space and the... It has a lot to do with the spatial placement of the instruments; it has a lot to do with the breaking down of the equipment. There's a lot of, like, discipline and theory behind our music, there's a lot of like, shit that we don't really need to talk about. It's pedantic to talk about, like, the conceptual shit behind our music because there actually is. It may seem like total, groovy chaos or something like that, but there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of tone rows, and, like, there's a lot of like...we have a lot of pretty set timbral, like, uh, gestalts that we can cue...
Like a little pink fence that surrounds us, with a lot of little pink castles...
So how did you write all of this stuff? Did you write any of the music out, or did you just...
I did a lot of stuff..
No. Absolutely not. We have no idea what we're doing.
Yeah, I wrote it. (everyone laughs)
I have a computer at home, and I program MIDI, and I give tapes to the band members, and they learn the shit, then we get together.
I wrote...everything.
I go to sleep at night, and I can't fall asleep.
Then you do a Captain Beefheart kind of thing, lock them in a house for eight months, feed them black beans...
No.
(Makes a gnashing sound) I hit them on the head with wooden spoons. Boop, boop, boop! That's the sound it makes....a loud cracking sound.
We have nothing to do with any... We are unprecedented. (To other bendmates) Are we unprecedented?
Hey, what were you saying about us having the courage to even go out and not know what we're doing?
I always say that...
We dont know what we're gonna do, we don't care.
I'm used to that.
We've never discussed our music, not for a fucking second.
Because it existed before we did. Right. That's why we channel vibrations through our testicular and/or vaginal power sources.
The first time we played together, which was in August, or, what, October of last year...
When heavy metal lightning bolts came out of your ass?
Yeah. We have never discussed this music because we instinctually know that it's gonna rock no matter what, we don't need to discuss it. But I do do MIDI, I program MIDI tapes.
(To Weasel) And even if you wanted to discuss music, I wouldn't listen.
So everything onstage is improvised within your system?
Yeah, there's a lot of cues and stuff, there's a lot of, like, downbeat cues.
Every one of us has a repertoire and within that, there's a lot of things each certain one of us is going to do...
A battle royale of egotistical...
We have an idea, we're not sure which response is going to elicit which thing, it's like samples setting each other off in reference systems that are all, like, contact...honestly, that's it. Right?
Mmm-hm.
Sure.
(Points to Misty) I more or less know that she's got about three thousand things she can do, there's more than i can keep track of, but I still have a rough idea.
So it's just a matter of waiting to see what she does and then reacting from there?
And it's a matter of memory, cellular memory, the kind of memory that...
And Mitosis.
It's not waiting, we don't wait. We just, we react constantly.
I'm not waiting... Yeah, it's reacting.
Consciously reacting.
(Pointing to Misty again) I'm acting. She's gotta, like, get my attention.
Just like, uh, it's like being in a car crash. The crash is happening and you're reacting at the same time. That's what our music's all about.
Right. Exactly. It's sort of like the feeling, like watching the hood in slow motion crumble towards you, and watching, like, the metal come up, and glass, like smashing, and it's like what do you do? You grab the handle by the side?
You try to protect yourself. You're moving at the same time other things are moving. There's no waiting.
So it's pretty much imminent demise?
It has a lot to do with flow. You know, I'm a zen nihilist. We accept that life is shit and we'll be dead soon, so we can get ostracized.
I'm a zen Neil Armstrong.
I like Pittsburgh.
What do you like about Pittsburgh?
Hills. The brown air.
Toxic green panorama. The horizon is very high. The horizon line is higher than my peripheral vision.
The, what, Shit and Eat, what is it? Eat and Park? Park and Eat?
(simultaneously) Eat and Park.
Eat and park. In that order.
Quality establishment.
Beefeater.
What's the steepest town in this part?
Fuck Eat and Park. Beefeater.
Who's the coolest jew in Pittsburgh?
You got me... (Inquiring) Brad?
Ummm... Hold on a minute, I think I might have an actual answer for that. Yeah...it's not Manny Theiner. Theiner's a Polski. No.
Manny heard that...that's great.
Another frickin' Yid picked his way into this redneck valley?
You'll never play here again.
What number were you on that list again?
Forty...five?
I thought you said you were 35.
No. Tom's 35. {[Tom Smith, founder of To Live and Shave in LA]
You're number 8, man, on the resident asshole list.
Tom Smith.
He's 8!
How come Albini was on the cover, and he's only 14?
He's more famous. It's fame.
Yeah, because they'll sell it.
Why didn't they put the Buttholes on the cover? The Buttholes were number 1.
Do you know who the asshole is?
Who was number 1?
All of the Butthole Surfers.
Weasel, you're on the asshole list, right?
Yeah, I'm 45. Tom Smith is 35.
Okay.
What list is this?
Chunklet top 100 assholes in rock. I don't think I'm an asshole. You've talked to me, do you think I'm an asshole?
No, you're a nice guy.
Thank you. I do [unintelligible] actually. Um, I was really pissed when I read that, I wrote him a very long letter telling him how erroneous he was. He didn't respond. Very mature.
(A conversation begins in the background concerning who owns which complimentary Weather Channel 7")
Wait, so where was this printed?
A zine called Chunklet, from Atlanta. I think they're fucking indie rock assholes, now. Just indie rock assholes from Chunklet.
The guy that writes it? You wrote a letter to him?
Yeah, 'cause I thought he was a fucking idiot.
Did he include himself?
No.
He should have!
Yeah, I wrote... The heading of my letter was "Number One Frustrated Rock Critic." I told him in reflected more on him than it did me, actually, because he was uninformed of me, like what did he think... He knows Azalia Snail, who hates me, and I think that's why I'm on the list.
That's why I didn't get on the list.
Right, because she likes him.
Right.
I'm not an asshole. I used to be. I don't care anymore about...
It's not who you know, it's who you blow.
I think the list would've been really cool, if he had included himself, I mean...
Well, he did.
He did?
He did include himself.
Oh, okay.
I can't get my record reviewed in local free newspapers, and I have to put up with this shit, you know? It's like stupid. He can suck my...
Well, he thinks that indie rock still exists. He's still living down in, like...
Oh, it does still exist, and that's part of the problem.
Unfortunately.
Right. I think that rock and roll natural selection needs to take place.
I think it's interesting that we're talking about a magazine that sucks, and it's more popular than the magazine we're being interviewed by...is that possible?
Oh, I'm sure it's more popular.
Okay, I just wanted to...
Okay, we're gonna hit it. Goodnight, folks.
Okay, bye.
(fist in the air)Smash a priest.
(Nondor leaves, Weasel says something about Cajuns, or at least something that rhymes with "cajuns")
(To Weather Channel guys) Thanks for contributing to the interview...
Yeah, sure.
Nondor's gone, so if you have any real questions, and don't want to be interrupted by his utter fucking bullshit... His incapability to, like, be honest... I love that guy, but I'd rather eat shit than let him rape my sister. See, I can do his thing, too. It's offensive, mildly offensive...in the (obscured by Weather Channel members discussing who gets what 7", and how playing them on a turntable will ruin the needle since they're spray-painted)
Okay, let me see, I wrote down some questions...
It really is the chance for, like, honest answers, now, cause he's gone. See, he's a situationist.
(The Weather Channel discussion continues, Rat says something about a hurricane heading toward Miami)
(to Milton, who's talking about 7"s) We're talking about situationism...
This is like a hint.
Yeah.
So, uh, okay, let's talk about the no wave glam thing.
Oooh, geez.
(Simultaneously) Free glam.
Free glam...apologies.
Yeah, no no wave, don't worry about it. Free glam. Free occult glam.
No wave, man, goddammit.
Occult free glam.
Occult free glam.
So, who do you think started this? I know Miss High Heel...
No it didn't
. What? Free Glam? The Devil Bell Hippies. In 1985.
Yeah, the Devil Bell Hippies started it.
They've been going for 17 years and they have nothing to show for it. They're a Free Mason, pro-NRA, pro-choice band. From Chicago.
(back, and lamenting the empty fridge) Get the fuck out man. Dude, this shit is mega-empty. Let's go to McDonald's.
There's a lot of free glam bands, but there's only a few good ones. And that's us, Laundryroom Squelchers, To Live and Shave in LA 3, The Devil Bell Hippies...
Yeah.
(Mockingly) Yeah.
(with annoyance)Nondor...
Next question.
(To Misty) I'll antagonize you.
Now, I'm going to get pummeled.
(to Milton and Brad): Boys, you're quiet back there...
It's imposing when... (buried by Nondor's next comment)
Let's get out of here. (singing into recorder) "Let's go away now, go away now. You want a superstar, you got a Superstar."
I don't even think I have to ask anything, else, we can just put that in...
You're probably right. I don't know, man, write a review and fucking erase that tape immediately. It sucks. Write an interview for us, make up answers. It's hard...it's like nothing we could say could make anyone in this country interested in listening to this band, so it's almost like pointless. Either they're going to find it, the 5 of them who find it are going to care a lot, and the other 80 billion are going to suck my ass eternally, so...
So you're expecting that you're not going to get many people at the shows on this tour?
We're the real fucking thing. It's going to take 20 fucking years for people to...
Care.
Care. And that's important to us.
And once they care, they'll still hate us.
But then you can sell all of your cds for...
(Manny enters)
I see a crisp stack of ones there!
There's two ones, a five, and a twenty.
Thank you for all of the transactions, you're number one.
(Weather Channel drummer John Roman, still around)What about us?
You'll get yours.
I'm not selling my own music anymore. I'm selling fake albums of other people's music. So on the next To Live and Shave in LA 3 tour, you can expect to buy Harry Pussy 2 albums, [indecipherable]
Give me some money.
You know how many people paid to get into this show...
I got in free tonight.
You got in free to the show?
You got in free, you absorbed coolness by association, you don't need any money.
To Live and Shave in LA 3 even made a fake To Live and Shave in LA 2 album...
Hyper-adversarial. I don't see the point. To me, like, To Live and Shave in 2 is not an adversarial statement.
(To John)Come on, let's go see some black, redneck strippers. You & me, man.
(Conversation about where to see black redneck strippers ensues in the background)
So it's not adversarial, but other people are making it so?
Yeah, I think it's a funny intellectual joke that will die out in about a week-and-a-half.
You still talking? Somebody fucking... Come on Weas, let's go.
Here, you want to see some black strippers?
No, I'm not into chocolate. I like white chicks.
We're not a politically correct band.
I just wanted to talk about it, for a second...
Alright...
So, have you gotten any attention from anyone?
No...that's why we're selling a CD-R of our album...
With a photo-copied cover...
Right, if we pressed a thousand copies of this cd, distributors would take 150 copies totally begrudgingly, and that would be the end of it, so....
Let's get out of here. It smells like socks in here.
So that's why you're not releasing it on any label?
Well, if someone wanted to release it, that would be great. Life is too short to care.
You guys, I have to go, Michael Gira's gonna read some poetry.
(Weasel starts to say something else, Nondor drops a cymbal, everyone laughs)
What's a label? What's the definition of a label, please? I'm lost...
It's a stupid guy who makes music, and tries to sell it to other people...
Well, actually, what is a label?
Yeah...
I thought you might release it on ugexplode or Flemish Masters...
It doesn't even need a label, it's like, we're so tired of trying to convince people that we're good that if they don't understand, they can suck off.
What's a label? No music needs a label. Why does any music need a label? So it can be sold because it's associated with someone else?
(Cleaning up and packing of band equipment begins)
We want to play tennis without a net, and it's a struggle to get rid of the racket. You know what I mean? Like, we're trying to figure out how to be more chaotic, and we're fighting ourselves, because we're formalists by nature. We want to, like, throw everything out the window, but it's almost impossible to become truly random. We can only... We're still, like... As chaotic as what we do, it obviously has defined parameters, and we're trying to find ways of destroying that, but it's like a struggle. I don't know...
So even after you get rid of the rackets, you still have to struggle to get rid of the ball?
Yeah, exactly, my man. He's got it. Number 1 platitude generation device. No, I mean, you know, we just want to fucking bring back the ass-kicking rock 'n' roll that we grew up on. Right? In the '70's, Rat was really into ELP and Foghat's first album.
Do you need help Weasel?
No, I'm just picking up my stinky clothes. I don't know...we're just doing what we would want to see, but, of course, no one else is doing what we want to see, so we don't get to watch it. So it's kind of like self-negating, in a way.
You could videotape it all and watch it when you get home.
See, I don't enjoy what I'm doing, since it's so strenuous, mentally and psychically, that it's not like enoyable, like this isn't fun for me...
Oh, Weasel...
I'm kidding. It's a lot of fun.
It is fun, you guys. It is fun.
It's fun.
And it's even more fun to do this interview.
You guys: it is fun.
It looks like fun.
(in some sort of goofy voice) It is.
Nondor...
What?
We fucking destroy wherever we go, but we don't destroy other people's equipment. Have you noticed that? (To Manny) We didn't destroy a goddamn thing of yours, did we?
Oh we would never destroy anything...
Not anything, no.
See?
Was Manny nervous?
Nah.
He was a little nervous.
(To Manny) Were you nervous?
I'm not in this interview...
Good choice.
(Misty and Nondor discuss packing in the background)
None of you know how to pack the van. (laughing) The van... We tour in a Chevy Lumina. What fucking car are we in?
The stuff's just sitting out there...
Alright, fine, let's take care of this, then. (To Adam) Thanks. Hey, no problem.
Yeah, thanks Adam.
No problem. My pleasure.
Hey, erase that fucking shit as soon as you...
[at this point, the tape runs out of space and the recording cuts off] 1