You see kids, no wave sounds like everything or nothing, but the key to the kingdom depends the amount of annoyance and disdain inherent.

4/22/98

We smite them with our fists and then hand them this helpful tract and a piece of candy:

The Chicago No Wave Recommended Listening List

• End Result 12" ep (Ruthless, 1988?) out of print
• Condeucent - "The Earth" 7" (CDC 1993) out of print
• The Scissor Girls - Here is the "Is-Not" CD (Atavistic 1997)
• The Flying Luttenbachers - Revenge CD (Skin Graft 1996)
• Math - Rubber Musique LP (Milk of Burgundy 1995) out of print
• Trenchmouth - Inside the Future CD (Skene 1994)
• Lake Of Dracula CD (Skin Graft 1997)
• Chicken Bomb compilation CD (Lumpen Media Group 1996) out of print
• U.S. Maple - Long Hair in Three Stages (Skin Graft 1996)
• Dot Dot Dot LP (? 1995) out of print
• Bobby Conn CD version (Truckstop 1997)
• Duotron(a) - Feminil Battilia LP (Bulb 1996) out of print
• Quintron - Satan is Dead (Do the Stomp) CD (Bulb 1997)

Apparently, our favorite old school/budget-bin Chicago No Wavers, End Result played at some guy's picnic last night! If anyone went, let us know what happened.

The Flying Luttenbachers return to the stage on Wednesday April 29, at the University of Chicago. The theme of the event is "musician-play-along-to-film". Sounds dull? Of course. well poopy pants, expect the usual surprises from our own Gods of Chaos. The Luttenbachers will musically accompany a screening Otto Mühl's "Malaktion", a seldom seen 45- minute art film/gross-out supreme. The line-up will consist of Weasel Walter, Kurt Johnson, Michael Colligan, and William Pisarri. Also appearing will be David Grubbs and The Meadow Sheep. The show starts at 9PM at 1212 E.59th Street in Hyde Park. The Luttenbachers' 1995 album Destroy All Music will be out on Skin Graft in July.

The "Easiest Show Ever" at the Lab last Saturday didn't seem "easy": it seemed a little, uh, "hard" - as in challenging! The evening commenced with a trio of Fred Lonberg-Holm ('cello), Carrie Biolo-Thompson (vibraphone), and Guillermo Gregorio(sp) (reeds) performing a bunch of cool, cubist chamber compositions. Next up came The Chicago Symphonic Orchestra's very austere "Third Stream" arrangement of The Flying Luttenbachers' "Gods of Chaos" album. The huge ensemble featured Holm, Biolo- Thompson, Georgio, Weasel Walter, Michael Colligan, Jeb Bishop (Vandermark 5), Kurt Johnson (Lozenge/FLs), Kyle Bruckman (Lozenge), Ben Vida, Solly (Zeek Sheck), Frank and John Navin (Aluminum Group), a.o. under the leadership of concertmistress Julie Pomerleau. Next, a couple enacted some sort of bizarre mock rape "skit" (yeah, it was weird-we didn't get it either) which raised more than a few eyebrows before being gleefully sabotaged by feminist avengers Emily O'Hara (Monitor Radio/Slits), Doris Sparks, and Pomerleau. Let's hear it for "audience participation". The evening wound up with a new dynamic duo comprised of Easy Johnny (ex-Hott Lixx, a.k.a. Chinese Johnny, Mr. Explosions, The Scorpion) on computer/vocals and DJ LeDeuce (Conducent, Rome, etc.) on the mix. The two weaved a hilariously obscure web of samples, cuts, beats, and vocals. A pantless dance was performed by Sasha (Hatewave), Weasel Walter, and Andrew Kingsford. Very sexy, of course. Like I said, "hard', not "easy".

"Go Go" night at the Liquid Kitty on Wednesday was another hard/easy celebration featuring a provocative performance by Bobby Conn's Legg Warmers. Bobby debuted two new numbers, including "Where Have All the Dirty People Gone?"-- a jolly, danceable indictment of collegiate "head-nodders and chin-scratchers", as well as rocking out such chestnuts as "The Sportsman", "Never Get Ahead", and "Baby Man". Special mention goes to bassist Davis McCabe, who split the ass out of his slinky, ultra-tight Purple poly bodysuit with much aplomb.

Because Death Metal equals No Wave equals Free Jazz, two notable Death Metal shows are coming up in April: Suffocation with others at Jackhammer's in Schaumburg on Wednesday April 22 and Incantation (Relapse Records) with My Lai and others at the Fireside Bowl on Monday April 27 starting at 6PM/$5. Both headliners play the kind of improbable atonal bombast that we constantly find inspiration in around headquarters.

The infamous Peter Sotos' (Whitehouse, etc.) recently released book, Index (Press) is a stunningly transgressive and fascinatingly dense piece of nihilist philosophy. Those few souls brave enough to stare straight into the dark, naked ugliness of human behavior should find this tome a masterpiece. Definitely not for the intellectually or aesthetically weak, Sotos constantly bombards the helpless reader with vile, stream-of-conscious smokescreens of smut while subliminally outlining his atavistically logical but unpopular views on the perpetual self-destruction of contemporary morality and mass sexual psyche/hypocricy. Peter Sotos is a surrealistic Sade for the end of the millenium.

Bobby Conn just spent a week in New York producing an album for Scissor Girls-defector Kelly Kuvo's new band "Sweet Thunder".

Look out for upcoming Skin Graft releases by Flossie and the Unicorns and our own favorite martian, Mr. Quintron.

4/19/98

Detroit expatriates/Chicago partypoopers 7000 Dying Rats have just released a full-length lp entitled Fanning the Flames of Fire. Their Naked City derived, quasi-grindcore stupidity hits the highwater mark with such insipid tripe as "I Just Broke Up With Jim O'Croce", "Anal Cunt is Gay", "Paul Stanley's Chest", and the like. Yuck. People who are art fags and don't realize it making fun of art fags... or badass, working class metal elitists with short hair? -- You decide. Write to: Up Jumps the Devil Records, P.O. Box 470650, Chicago, IL, 60647.

In a Chicago No Wave coup de grace, Kevin Drumm will open for Sonic Youth and The EX at the Riviera in Chicago on May 16, 1998. Kevin is an important musical iconoclast known for his sometimes completely unearthly anti-guitar playing (shockingly documented on the recently released, eponymous CD on Perdition Plastics) and for organizing The Improvised Music Workshop at Myopic Books during the last few years.

4/7/98

Bobby Conn's second album Rise Up will be released by somebody this summer. Rise Up is a far more subtle and strange album than the eponymous debut. Bobby's almost schizophrenic delusions of armageddon and alienation are sugar-coated in the most stunningly saccharine arrangements imaginable! The record featured Jim O'Rourke and Cheer-Accident's Phil Bonnet at the engineering helm and a mind boggling cast of studio hacks including Thymme Jones (Cheer-Accident), Beau Grumpus (The Goblins), Weasel Walter (LOD, Flying Luttenbachers), Dylan Posa (Cheer-Accident), and many others. Our hit pick of the record is "United Nations" a brash, up-tempo rocker that accuses the American government of serving the Devil and, yes, you are all going to burn in the year 2000, by the way.

4/5/98

Flying Luttenbachers Weasel Walter and Kurt Johnson recently did a free music gig with ex-Math reedist Michael Colligan as the "Weasel Walter Trio" at The Big Horse. Assembly Line People Program were also appeared.

Zeek Sheck is currently on a three week US tour. Her bandmates on this jaunt are Twig Harper (Hanson Records co-magnate) and Carly Ptak.

U.S. Maple have returned home after a 6-week European tour. Their new split single with the legendary free improvising guitarist Derek Bailey should be out soon.

Bobby Conn will appear with his new band The Legg Warmers at the noxious Chicago Wicker Park yuppie hangout, Liquid Kitty (Division and Wood) at a special Lumpen Times sponsored "Go Go Night" on Wednesday April 15, 1998 at rock time. The Legg Warmers' line-up is: Bobby Conn/gtr, vocal, Monica BouBou/violin, organ, Steve Priest Jr. (ex-Sweet Jr.) - bass guitar, and ColdMan (ex-Rome, Deuces, DOG, etc.)-drums. Longtime Bobby Conn collaborator, Julie Pomerleau has recorded an "easy listining" (although it sounds more like crazy "third stream" jazz-mod classical) arrangement of the entire Flying Luttenbachers' Gods of Chaos album! This 14 minute piece will appear on a new compilation CD entitled "Big Songs For Small Apartments" released by Easy Listener magazine. Players on the track include Fred Lonberg-Holm and former and current Luttenbachers Jeb Bishop, Kurt Johnson, and Weasel Walter (on bass clarinet!) Other contributors on the CD include: Bobby Conn, Cheer-Accident, Thymme Jones, and DJ LeDeuce. A live performance of this arrangement will happen at The Lab (329 North Bell in Chicago) on Saturday April 11, 1998. Admission is $10 and the evening will be "the easiest show ever", with gogo dancers, tiki bars, DJs, food, "the human lava lamp" and a free "Big Songs" compilation for each partygoer.

Two new Lake Of Dracula releases will be out soon: a split 7" with Monitor Radio on Carcrash Records, and a 7" recorded at KJFC on their Summer '97 West Coast tour released by Kill Rock Stars.

Hatewave are recording a full-length lp in April with Broken Hope's Brian Griffin engineering. The fastest haterock band in the world has a slew of live dates coming up: Saturday, May 9, 1998 at the Fireside Bowl, Chicago (Fullerton and Western) with Cock ESP at 10 PM; Sunday, May 17 at Jackhammer's on an 8-band Death Metal fest starting at 4PM; and on Saturday May, 30 at the Big Horse (1558 N. Milwaukee at Damen and North) with Drogheda and 7000 Dying Rats at 10PM. You haven't seen all out musical violence until you have seen Hatewave!

Adam and the Antz is desperately looking for a drummer with his shit together. Contact ugEXPLODE.