For more than a decade the Devil Bell Hippies have terrorized dozens of concertgoers. Their live shows often end in death or mutilation of band members and audience. The line-up has varied randomly from one guy playing wax paper and a comb to 35 guys playing bagpipes. Printed below is the only known Devil Bell Hippies interview from ugEXPLODE # 1, January 1996.

DBH: I said "I don't ask, I take". Let's get that out of the way. Would you make us more metal? (Hands Ug a tape) I'm interested in that Brazillian band.

Ug: Mystifier? Mystifier are excruciatingly "underdeveloped". They apparently have terrible equipment, haven't really heard much music in their lives - but they're doing the best they can. I want to share with you my observations on a phenomenon, which maybe you also have noticed. In this trendy, artful neighborhood (Wicker Park/Zima Nation) and the vicinity, you will notice that the Art Fags in their black leather jackets...

DBH:...the indistinguishable braindead.

Ug: Yeah, if you catch any of their gazes, they flash you this sort of lonely, longing look. You know what I'm talking about.

DBH:I'm offended by it. To sum it up simply, I think they're a bunch of pussies.

Ug: (long pause)...Alright! Moving along...

Ug: I don't want to move on!

Ug: Let's dwell on it.

DBH: My dark shadow dwells on many thing.

Ug: I think it's ironic that they want to be "alternative" -- which is very nice but, if you're really like that you don't have any friends, but you don't want any! It's a paradox that they have this puppy dog look but they're trying to be bad-ass new wavers.

DBH: I think that it's not even fashion, it's something else in that. It's the idea of looking like something with out ever payng for it...

Ug: Are we talking about Poseurdom?

DBH: Exactimundo - without the sacrifice, the destruction. ...or to put it another way, "swedes".

Ug: How does the DBH organization go around destroying the kingdom of poseurdom?

DBH:I'm glad you phrased it as an organization instead of a band. It shows that you understand much of our dark realm. You have been initiated into it. The mere presence og the Hippies is almost enough to send poseurs back from whence they came. You know...we go out KICKIN' ASS. Baseball bats, crowbars...have you ever seen Bosco (Necronomicon)) take on 10 people?

Ug: No, but I've seen him almost incapacitated from alcohol poisoning and dumped off the stage.

DBH: you should hear his horrific war cry! Well...many people might think he's weak and vulnerable, but it's all a majestic act! Actually he doesn't drink at all! He's just acting like it. Poseurs immediately think of him as an incapacitated pansie. That's when the real assault begins! You know, Machievelli's Recipe for Overthrowing the State...the man, the fuzz! You get 4 people in a room and you plant a bomb on some civic building - and you, being the leader, you pull out a gun - we're going to do this tomorrow - "Nobody leaves until the action!" That is in a nutshell, in a kernel, Bosco's plan.

Ug: What's the body count?

DBH: I can only say it's very high. Extremely high. Naughty. Extremely naughty.

Ug: Tell me about the time when you lit the audience on fire with flamethrowers.

DBH: We played a show - if you wanna call it a "show" -after the chanting of the priests, we merged on stage with the flamethrowers. The puppy-dogged-look pansies we mentioned earlier were standing in front of the stage. They weren't when the flamethrowers were turned on! (laughs.) We exited through the back before THE MAN came. Not that we weren't ready to take on the cops....I personally have killed cops...and I'll do it again! (laughs.) I shouldn't be doing this interview. I'm much too evil. Grandstanding!

Ug: Well, it's just like the best occult organizations - y'know, the Illuminati, OTO, Knights Templar - the DBH are spoken about in hushed tones and rumors are spread. I'm just trying to dispel some of the myths. Describe to me how the album Obsessed by Cruelty by Sodom influenced the sound of DBH.

DBH: Interesting question. Usually these "influence" questions are tedious. When I first heard Sodom, I heard their classic In the Sign of Evil, which impressed me, but not more than anything else, right? When Obsessed By Cruelty came out, I went to a store and stole it, risking capture by the Police and went home.... and jammed it! I still, to this day, play it over and over in my mind, since I have long destroyed my copy - You have to do these things. I offered it as a sacrifice. I dunno. Some people have their John Cages... I've got my Sodom.

Ug: Would you say that Sodom, as well as DBH are completely evident in the pantheon of Free Jazz/Black Metal fusion?

DBH: Completely! That is actually the first, with the exception of the Venom Welcome to Hell record, which is older than that, the first completely free jazz metal record. It deceptively sounds like 3 people playing if different rooms and not knowing what the other person's playing. If you know anything about Harry Partch's 72 (sic) note musical scale, it becomes much clearer. Fuck that shit! I like their lyrics! About KICKIN' ASS!

Ug: Describe to me the DBH show at which the largest bulk of idiots have attended.

DBH: The show with Vanilla (Halloween 1994). The cretinous Vanilla audience obviously were unaware of what Vanilla were doing. I understood, but no one else did. There was a blizzard outside so they had to stay through our entire set. Trapped. And I think they were roused, too. Oh yeah, and the gig with Pearl Jam. It was in my living room. They have a new drummer now. They cloned the old one. I don't want to go in to it. Too many murders happen, let's just say!

Ug: Is there currently a venue in Chicago in which you can play?

DBH: No. Actually we are planning a gig at the Empty Bottle. A covert member of ours is going to get us in, even through that pusswad (owner) Bruce - who knows only fear - let's just say compared to what's going to happen to Bruce, Euronymous had it easy!

Ug:"...He died, screaming like a woman in his underpants."(laughs.)

DBH: Brilliant.

Ug: Whose side are you on?

DBH: Grishnckt. Completely.

Ug: Even though the guys from Emperor want to avenge Euronymous' death?

DBH: I know. That provides a very deep contradiction. I mean, Emperor are a kick ass band...but I would kill them if they were in the same room with me. The Devil Bell Hippies have been in 2 places at the same time. Not only were we wasting those pussies, The Electric Hellfire Club, who I want to the time out to badmouth: Disco, black wearing, false metal, pierced, limp wrists. Lonely puppies. So, not only were we at the Whitehouse show turning them into a pile of cringing, bleeding cowards, but the same night, we were also jamming at the Morseland!

Ug: Tell me what the day-to-day at the Hippies commune is like.

DBH: Well, it's not like the Crass commune. I wake up whenever the call rang out. Then the sacrifice is offered up to someone really mean. Sometimes it's Asteroth, sometimes it's "Ronny". Human or Animal depending on what's near us. We have had members of the Hippies gladly offered up. I myself would go one day...and laughing. Then I go back to sleep and wake up again, after which I go back asleep, because it's much too early to be up. This goes on until about midnight, when we go out asswhipping. Arms, ax handles, guns - anything! We joined forces with the Vice Lords recently. Only so long as they are useful. Then I go back to sleep again because it's much too early to be up. The we JAM.

Ug: How many albums are in the can?

DBH: I think after 666 records we will break up... well not really break up, just dissolve. We have 320 records. Some of them are so evil that I've never even heard them. Our first record, Hellish Hot Prose, was sone 11 years ago and featured only 2 people. The furious assault of that has never been equalled by anyone. Not even by us. Anyway, it's real mean. Then after that we produced Clownland: Tales of the Averstheroth, which is a political recording based on out hatred of the heat.

Ug: The heat?

DBH: The MAN! Then, of course, there is Poseurslaughter. A mundane title, but wait 'til you hear the tape! Um, after that we did a recording based on the poetry of Hogarth the Castrator called Much too forgotten Astrogoth Warlords...entitled Hogarth's Mythic Quest to the Shores of Nothingness. It's 18 hours long and recorded on wire tape. Naturally, no one's ever heard it. I want to put it out on a series of 390 78 RPMs. Much more.

Ug: How about video?

DBH: I'm glad you mentioned that. I want to dispel rumors that it's a "video". Because video usually means "bid for commercial stardom." It's a recorded experience. It's 12 hours long. It comprises 7 or 8 shows. The flamethrower thing is on it, too. And it's directed by Lee Groban. Alright! It's currently only available to the initiated. You'll be getting a copy in the mail in a black envelope.

Ug: One wish time: what is the DBH ultimate objective.

DBH: To fuck up a many pussies as possible! Some people would think that's a simply ridiculous statement. It's true.

Ug: Please list current stances among the Hippies.

DBH: 100 per cent pro censorship. We're pro-life and we support the RCP 100 per cent. Jesus is a complete pussy. But we are actually Christians! We want to bring back "Jesus the Annihilator", of various apocryphal texts. There is no fucking around; you're damned if you screw up. Jesus sending powerful thunderbolts to kill everyone. An Old-Testament-no-fuckin'-around guy. We are completely pro-NRA. I think guns should be mandatory. Everyone should have 4 on their person at all times. We support Rostenkowski 100 per cent. His vicious dark personage! Oh yeah. I want Beau O'Reilly to know his head is on the chopping block. I want my fuckin' money. His entrails are gonna end up sewn in the back of his throat and sent to whatever family members are still living - stapled to the prostitute, his girlfriend, what's her face. The Electric Hellfire Club are going to get more of what they got. Those pussies will be grovelling at our feet., begging for mercy. We were at the Whitehouse gig and we got into a psychic argument with them about who is more evil. Well, we basically proved that we are more evil. We beat the piss out of them. Some of our metallians sustained minor injuries, but it was nothing compared to them: confused and string, covered in their own blood-snags in their black tights.